"You Can Eliminate Jealousy"

by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches

As relationship coaches, we are often asked for relati onship advice
on how to eliminate jealousy. Because it's an issue that is very real
for many people, we wanted to give some ways to get free of the
problem once and for all.

You can have about other people's things, their
success, their beauty, their athletic prowess, their relationship,
their kids, their education, their money, and their life. It can
be a tiny feeling in your gut or it can be an overwhelming
sensation that drives you to say and do things that you wouldn't
do otherwise. In its extreme, it can lead to separation, divorc e
and a broken heart.

When it comes to broken heart from a previous
relationship or it might be low self esteem issues.

If you have this problem, know that many people, like you,
have healed and eliminated it from their lives and so can you.
Here are some ideas to help you to eliminate jealousy from
your life:

1. Get in touch with what you are feeling. Stop what you
are doing and just sit and allow the feelings that are there
to surface without judging them.

2. Write about what you are feeling in a journal and begin
to become aware of what you are telling yourself about
those feelings. Discover whether you are making up untrue
stories about what happens to trigger your jealousy of is
there truth to what you fear is happening.

3. If there is truth to what you fear is happening, then
formulate a plan to hit the problem with honesty. Quit
guessing and have the courage to find out. If there isn't
any truth to your fears, then bring yourself into the present
moment each time those fears come up. Remind yourself
that you are only making up untrue stories.

These jealous feelings that separate you from other people
and destroy relationship trust may be anger, fear, sadness,
or anything else that close you down and don't allow
a connection with those you love.

If the actions that you fear are actually happening, then
you may need to decide if want to continue in this situation
if your partner refuses to change his/her behavior.

If you know that you are making up stories that are untrue
about what you are feeling, then you can decide to change
what you believe.

If you are having challenges with jealousy or any other strong
emotion that could potentially wreck your relationship, we
invite you to look underneath and see what the real problem is.

Then you can commit to working on and healing these
challenges and committing to making some changes for
the better in your life.