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Relationship Advice for how to avoid a Relationship Breakup
"How To Avoid a Relationship
Breakup"
by Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches
One of the most common relationship problems nearly everyone
experiences is a relationship breakup in their life and many
experience it as a divorce.
Whether we like it or not, breakups happen and we
either get over them quickly and move on or we hold
onto the pain and grief for many years, perhaps forever,
never really realizing it.
Even if we seemingly "get over" our relationship breakups,
we may not completely heal our broken hearts because
of what happened.
If you want to heal from a breakup or divorce, the
relationship advice that we will give is that you take
the time and energy you need to discover why your
relationship dissolved and what you can do differently
in a new relationship.
So, how do you avoid a relationship breakup before
it happens?
Whether you need marriage advice or da ting advice,
the information in this article should start you thinking.
To help you with this process, we'll give you five
ways to avoid a relationship break up:
have been buried and not dealt with. Most couples
avoid looking at and doing something about the problems
that exist in their relationship until it's too late. These
problems might be trust issues, flirting with other people,
je alousy, inf idelity, lack of passion, lack of common
interests--to name a few. Challenges that the two of
you simply walk around and don't address eventually
come to the surface, usually in uglier ways.
relationship? Does one or both of you want to spend
more time together? If you do, how can this happen
without blaming each other? Do you need to appreciate
each other a little more? If so, in what ways can both
of you show appreciation to each other?
2. Allow old fears from past relationships to surface,
heal them and let them go.
Most people in who are in an intimate relationship
experience fears coming up from the past which might
not have anything to do with the current situation. These
might include fearing not being good enough, attractive
enough, wealthy enough or even having feelings of
abandonment. If not dealt with, these fears can
build walls between people and ultimately create
a split that may not be able to be repaired.
If fears are not looked at and healed, they
interfere in some way or another with the health
of every relationship. Take some time to notice
when the fears surface, be loving with yourself
but look inward instead of outward.
just making "stories" up in your head. If you are
creating those "stories" and there's no basis of
truth to them, then change your thinking. It's not
always easy to do and it takes moment by moment
monitoring of your thoughts. If you need help and
support to make the changes you want in your life,
be courageous enough to get it.
3. Find out what each person's expectations are
for your relationship.
The people who unconsciously or consciously
think that just because they expect certain things from
the relationship, their partner expects the same. They
set themselves up for overt conflicts or sullen withdrawal
by not getting those differences on the table, honoring
and accepting them. If one person has expectations
and the other person tries to live up to those expectations
while wanting something entirely different, the relationship
is ripe for a break up.
je alousy and possibly infidelity and div orce from
happening. If you expect to be treated a certain way,
make sure that you tell the other person that this is
the way you'd like to be treated. It's even possible to
have fun with differences if you look at them in a
conscious way.
4. Sharpen your communication skills with each other.
For many couples, lack of communication is a big
issue and can tear couples apart. The two people
may trigger each other so often that even choose
to limit their interaction with each other. One person
may agree to do something just to keep the peace.
One person may be wanting to be loved and
appreciated in a certain way but are afraid or not
willing to show their love and ask for love.
For whatever reason communication stops between
two people, if they don't learn how to tear down
the walls between them and open to intimacy, they
risk breaking up the relationship or dying inside.
of you listens to understand each other. This is a
skill that you have to learn to do because most of
us weren't taught how.
full attention, being entirely present with the other
person, without becoming defensive about what
each other is saying.
do it, the two of you will become closer, more
connected and more loving. We suggest you
attention and see how trust grows between you.
appreciate each other.
and appreciated and when we're not, we tend to
either withdraw or attack the other person for not
meeting our needs. If you want to be appreciated,
start appreciating the other people in your life.
Sounds simplistic but it really works!
seeing and feeling the love and appreciation that
people are giving you that you may not be aware
of in your daily life. It may be that someone allows
you to go ahead of them in traffic or tells you
to go ahead in a grocery line. Send some
appreciation back to them and to everyone
around you and watch love snowball in your life.
If you want to prevent a relationship breakup,
we encourage you to discover together how you
can improve your relationship.
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